La Uña de la Grand Bestia

We met an Ecuadorian guy, Sebastien. Skinny, sun burned badly, he´s a lonely character. Has been mugged enough times, he´s afraid of everything now. He loved our stories of where we went in Ecuador. His synopses - ¨You guys have been to the worst possible places, but you seem to have the best time!¨ He comes to the beach town of Canoa every year since he was a boy. He produces movies, and comes here to get away from it all and revise screenplays. His laptop broke on his first day here, so now he mostly smokes and drinks.

We went out with him one night. Had a few rounds at the Surf Shack, a local gringo hangout. ¨Do you guys want a real local experience?¨ he asks. We say yes. He takes us down the beach to where there is a large boat in a high sand dune. The boat has been converted nicely into a bar. ¨The owner is a real character¨ he says and repeats himself several times before we arrive ¨a real character.¨ He explains that the coast is sort of the wild part of Ecuador. It´s where men once settled their differences with machetes on the beach. Things have changed, but some of the mentalities of justice live on through violent crime syndicates in the coastal cities. We passed through one such city en route to Canoa called Puertovejho - while we were there, we were told once to stay inside, once to move along, and once to run. Most of the surf towns along the coast suffer from gang crime. Except Canoa, a huge surf town. ¨It´s the best place in Ecuador,¨ says Sebastien.

We approach the ship and have a seat at the bar. Sebastien introduces us to Don Calisto - an old man with hard eyes and deep creases through his whole face. Sebastien is good friends with the Don. He made the Don´s bar famous. The Don is happy to see him.

Sebastien and the Don talk about old times in rapid Spanish. I can´t understand anything. Sebastien translates to English one sentence in ten. Basically, Sabastien helped publish the Don´s life story in a famous newspaper in Ecuador, which earned the Don and his bar national fame. The basic story is that the Don and his henchman ¨El Tractor¨ were hardcore junkies in Peurtovejho. Huge crack heads and the worst sort of criminals. A huge history of violent crime. Story after story about some guy who messed with some guy and then El Tractor goes and puts a gun to their heads. Sometimes he shoots, it seems. He´s named El Tractor because he only ever moves forward.

Eventually they got sick of this violent life. They moved to Canoa and set up shop in an abandoned ship where they could live out the rest of their lives in quiet peace on the beach. They still use their mafia influence, but they do so to keep the city quiet. A place for tourists to surf and drop money.

Sabastien tells us why we´re here. He tells us of how The Don and El Tractor dropped their crack habit. They make a special drink. A now infamous drink. Called ¨La Uña de la Grand Bestia¨ or The Claw of the Great Beast. It is a special homemade liquor of 100 proof alcohol aged for one year with a special mix which pickles in the alcohol - whole marijuana plans, whole coca plants, and the right combination of venomous scorpion and centipede remains. You can seem them all floating around in the 50 liter glass jars he has on the bar. Apparently, just do 20 shots of this a day and it will cure you of your crack addiction.

We have a shot each, which becomes two. The Don joins us. We buzz. We eat pizza and laugh. We leave the bar and when we come back, El Tractor greets us. Sebastien and El Tractor embrace. A few more shots. You can taste the scorpion as you chew the drink. The coca stays in your teeth. The centipedes spin round in your head. It´s pleasant after a few.

I stumble around in the morning. I´ve lost my glasses, lost my head lamp, lost my hat. I walk out barefoot into the city street. Mud everywhere. The Don passes me on a cell phone. I smile and try to make eye contact as he looks straight through me. The streets have so much more character now.