A Big Yellow Fire Truck

I've been hanging out with Ralf, a master carpenter from Germany. Ralf used to work for an engineering company in Germany constructing the interior of high-speed trains. When the project was completed, he decided to build his own motor home in the back of a bright yellow Mercedes 4x4 fire truck and take it for a romp through western Africa via Mauritania-Cameroon-Congo-Angola-South Africa. He's modified the vehicle for improved off-road capability and distance travel. It has a very comfortable livable interior with kitchen and bedroom which he hand crafted to an exceptionally high level of quality. Ralf really knows how to enjoy a day and he ranks among the most easy going people I've met, while simultaneously exemplifying and evangelizing hard work, honesty, and adventure. I kinda want to be Ralf.

Ralf offered to let me join him on a trip to Liwonde National Park. The drive was pleasant, and we stopped at points along the lake and at markets to pick up goat and vegetables. Some employees of Liwonde National Park whom we knew from Cape MaClear took us (for free) on the roof of their Land Rover to a scenic lookout for the sun set and later for a night game drive. Lots of signs of hyenas and we enthusiastically chased after some hippo as part of their game called “Slap a Hippo’s Ass”. Ralf prepared a 'simple' sauce over pasta from our fresh veggies and his bottomless spice rack - containing spices which he largely picked and dried himself. This has reminded me how nice it is to know people who cook (and who have more than one pot). It feels good to be bush camping again as I haven't done it since Botswana - but the hippos still make me nervous.

We did an off-road game drive in the fire truck through throngs of flies which seem to love yellow things, following us for miles at speeds up to 60 km per hour. Hippos kill more people than any other animal in Africa. In the Okavango Delta, people were simply petrified of them. But they aren't very dangerous in National Parks because they don't have to compete with humans for resources here. You can safely get quite close to them – andwe did a canoe safari which did exactly that. We cooked the road-side goat for nearly four hours over an open fire in a South African potje yielding delicious results. This is the life.

After a day through the Dedza Mountains and two more in the capital Lilongwe, we headed back towards the lake for some $0.25 beers, some sun, and a chance for Ralf to get over a stomach flu. There is a tar road to the lake, but we decided to take the fire truck on a more rowdy and direct path soaking in rural sights on another mountain range - - and I suspect, for Ralf to show off the 4x4 capabilities of his truck.

It had rained for the last couple of days conjuring up the typical mud of Malawi's rainy season - a thick creamy red glue. Our maps, showed our planned route only as an obscure dotted walking path. The scene was set for some good off-roading.

The whole route was pretty bumpy, muddy, scenic, and filled with laughing happy children. The climax came on a downhill section which was sloped to one side. At the bottom of the slope was obvious trouble - deep tire treads and the signs of vehicles up to their axels in mud. We approached at a crawl but even at this speed, we slid laterally on the slimy mud towards the bad. We decided to unleashed Ralf's sand ladders to help us manage the slope. Sand ladders are meter long aluminum plates with deep treads and holes which you place under your wheels to drive on bad surfaces. Ralf had not yet had cause to use the sand ladders on his trip - not even in the jungles of Gaboon - and the fact that our situation merited them sort of made me proud.

We pick isolated areas along the highway for rest stops whenever we need a break or to make a repair . Somehow even in even the densest bush (not a person in sight), we will attract a moderately sized crowd of spectators after mere minutes. They just materialize from the bush. Today’s stop was no exception and a crowd of more than thirty people arrived quickly wanting to give us a push (for money). I don't think any of them had driven a car before. Whatever the reason, they simply didn't understand that our goal was to avoid becoming stuck in the mud. Their mentality was to just push and if you’re more stuck you get more guys. To them we didn't look very stuck, so they kept telling us to drive forward. They didn’t understand the risk to the vehicle or that the truck was heavier than the small trucks they’re used to pushing. They assumed Ralf must have just been somehow incapable of driving forward and they mocked him. One guy even offered to drive for him.

Ignoring the jestful spectators, I waded around in the mud placing the sand ladders with Ralf instructing me from the driver's seat. The spectators crowded round up to push as Ralf eased it into gear. The front of the car got onto a safe track, but the back tires slid deeper down the slope. A bunch of guys had been pushing directly on the side of the van - pushing the back wheels directly toward the bad mud. You had to laugh - but they'd put us in an awkward spot.

I started to have some trouble with the sand ladders at this point because they were heavily coated in the heavy mud and now weighed more than 50 lbs each. The crowd was not interested in helping me with the ladders, but were still eager to push us. I directed the crowd away from the side of the truck as Ralf began to crawl forward again. Soon we were out. There was lots of cheering and celebrations and Ralf sounded the air horn loudly. Then came the shouts for us to pay them.

We paid 1500 kwacha to the group. The guy we gave the money to pocketed 500 and shared 1000 with the others. We drove a couple hundred meters away for a private celebration over beers. We asked a man walking by if the road ahead was good "Yes, very good. No problems." he replied. We were relieved. But I was starting to catch on - I asked how the road was behind us, could we turn around and drive back easily? Uphill past the section we just passed? "Yes, very good. No problems." Shit.

The road got narrower and worse. Eventually the car treads disappeared and were replaced by only bike treads. There were lots of awe-struck children screaming "mazungu" and dancing even on rooftops sometimes. We picked a nice place where we could overnight should the need arise, but the mud gave way to sand and we got through without another major incident.

It had taken us all day to go 180 km. The beach was fine and the lodge was deserted. Crack a beer, we're back on Lake Malawi.